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Repurposing Coaching

Repurposing Coaching

Repurposing is a common term in our profession, and generally means taking content or work and offering it in a different way or towards a different end.

It’s time to consider repurposing coaching itself.

Coaching has often been about More. About playing a bigger game. About accumulating and building businesses and leading more effectively.

At the extreme, the laws of quantum physics have been invoked to claim that the Universe will snap to attention and give us everything we want if we only focus our intentions and passions clearly enough. (Sorry, quantum physics doesn’t work that way.)

The law of abundance is fine and well, as long as the economy is growing and oil is cheap and we don't look too deeply at what is going on in the rest of the world. However, the illusion is becoming harder to maintain. The house is on fire, and the fire is spreading.

When our house is on fire, any lucid person will discern which activities inside the house make sense. Getting people out of the building, calling 911, and locating fire extinguishers are actions that, given the context, obviously make more sense than hanging art on the wall, painting the bathroom, or rolling sushi with friends.

Yet, too often, we take it as our mission to help our clients accomplish what they want, or "live the life of their dreams." There is nothing wrong with creating wealth, building new businesses, and leading more effectively. Yet, too often our work supports clients’ actions towards what they want (art, a new bathroom, and sushi) while failing to consider the context of the burning house.

It’s time for those of us in the change profession to examine the purpose our work is serving. We must question whether we are using our skills and perspectives to make the most relevant and powerful contribution possible in times of accelerating and existential change.

Most of us have narratives about how our work contributes to a better world; I believe them to be largely true. And, experience tells me not to underestimate the capacity of the human mind to skew our narratives to justify what we desire. It is our nature to be driven more by our own identities, ambitions, and sense of entitlement than we can possibly be aware of.  (I am not exempting myself from uncomfortable examination. I did some work in Asia that made perfect sense to me at the time. Now, I question whether the good really justified the wear and tear on me, on my family, and on the planet, considering the carbon dioxide emitted by my trans-Pacific flights.)

The coaching profession has developed powerful methods for catalyzing significant and sustainable change in those we work with. However, it is no longer sufficient or appropriate to simply ask people what they want, and help them get it, without also asking deeper questions. Until our own success and achievement, and that of our clients, are relevant and aligned to the global context, our own sense of entitlement and that of our clients will be part of the problem.

Coaching as a skill set and as a profession is urgently relevant to our times. We are leaders with influence. And,  we have real influence with other leaders in positions of power. Influence carries responsibility. It is time to repurpose our work towards “bringing forth an environmentally sustainable, spiritually fulfilling, and socially just way of being on this earth.”

Many of us already place our work squarely in this larger context. However, as individual professionals and as an industry, it is imperative that we focus our considerable energies on this overarching purpose. To fail to do so is to remain in the myopic illusion that the law of abundance will take care of global warming, dwindling oil reserves, food and water crises, and fundamental injustices in the way the world accesses and distributes resources.

Alternatively, we can drink deeply, sinking our roots, and those of our work, into this compelling purpose. We can each choose to play our bold and unique role in times that are both dire and pregnant with possibility.

The stakes could not be higher. We are all needed.

  • What do you agree with? Disagree with?
  • How does your narrative about building a better world also justify your own desires?
  • Where do you stop listening to what the world is asking of you?
  • What bolder actions could you be taking?
diana says:
Mar 24, 2011 04:11 PM
Grateful to read your article as for some time now I have considered a coaching training to augment my social work and counseling training and practice. When I explore different coaching trainings, I can never quite bring my Self to cross that threshold though because the language and what is sounding too much like a game for success (which usually means MORE) stops me. I agree that we have to make all parts of us more conscious to understand more deeply what is motivating us; and the times they are a changing, so we need to be considering the Whole and understand that we are all connected and when one part of the Whole/body is suffering we all are. So how are our choices and decisions impacting all of us collectively. We are living in a powerful time of change and holding on to the old structures that no longer serve humanity is not helpful. We have to be willing to look at how Greed has impacted our world and planet. We are all standing at a threshold. From Dante we can learn that transformation begins when we arrive on the shores of Humility. My body relaxes when I read your article as it speaks to my soul. Surrender, humility, compassion these are what I want to move toward in my life; not More materialism or self centered accumulation. I want to support people connecting with their deepest Self and from that place creating this one precious life. Thank you! May all beings be free of suffering and may we live our lives to reduce suffering rather than create more. Go gently.
Doug says:
Mar 24, 2011 04:37 PM
I think that's helpful guidance... living our lives, and doing our work, so as to reduce suffering.

There are a lot of coaches that have a very strong vision of working to address world issues, and grounding their work in contemporary challenges. And, we all can wake up more; I don't think abundance and responsibility are incompatible at all. I just think that sometimes abundance is used in self-justifying ways, and that ultimately.

D.

Gillian Broswick says:
Mar 24, 2011 04:35 PM
I love this conversation and I am so grateful that you have written about it, Doug. I have been so immersed in the "abundance" conversation for many years and I started to have a adverse reaction to it and move away because I had become so disillusioned and it was not creating joy in my life. Always wanting more, I was never satisfied in my soul. I have found another conversation that does satisfy my soul and that is the one of "sufficiency". I have started on this journey of being enough, having enough and even doing enough and I feel that my integrity is saying "thank you"!!!
Doug says:
Mar 25, 2011 03:21 AM
Useful distinction, I think... abundance and sufficiency. It's clear that the world is abundant. And, that our tacit assumption that abundant means limitless is rather problematic!

Someone said there are two ways to happiness... one is to get what you want, and the other is to want what you've got. The latter provides a deeper and more lasting experience of fulfillment than the former.

Karl Grass says:
Mar 24, 2011 04:53 PM
Hi Doug,

The commitment certainly sounds like you!

Since this change seems to be about being more explicit about who you are (as opposed to a change in your core purpose) I am wondering how you see this affecting your practice.

For example, I strongly suspect the change will indirectly impact clients as it will attract prospects who are more likely to be comfortable with those aims.

In particular, I am wondering how you see this directly impacting clients. What changes do you see likely with respect to who you accept as a client, how you support their agendas, how you maintain the line between your agenda and theirs, or how you approach your work with them?

Are there other changes you are anticipating?

I hope you find the change freeing and energizing and wish you all the best,

Karl
Doug says:
Mar 25, 2011 03:36 AM
Great questions, Karl... thanks for probing.

I suspect that there are prospective clients that will not approach me because of this stand, or more particularly, because of their interpretation of my stand. (Just as there are some who won't approach b/c I'm transparent about meditating.) That's probably a good screening, as they might not be a great fit anyway.

The line for me is that there is an ethical stance, and I have to, for myself, draw a line from the client's aspirations to some good in the world. It is often, but not always, there. If I can't find it, I will choose not to put a portion of my dwindling reserves of life energy into that (not to sound fatalistic, but I'm a grandfather now, and time counts in a way that it didn't seem to a few decades ago.)

The word "agenda" has come up several times in this conversation, and I don't see it has having an agenda, per se, for the client so much as staying VERY clear about the larger context, and supporting clients in waking up to their role in it. It's not up to me to say what that role should be, but neither can I rest peacefully if I'm supporting someone in their ambitions and desires, knowing that the result of this will be harmful.

I anticipate other changes, and am working on a new leadership program to explore these topics in depth, as well as coaching pro bono with NGO leaders in Ghana as part of an innovative pilot program that Deb Denis has put together.
 
Bottom line, Karl, I'm experimenting! And I know that the experiments will change me.
Laura Neff says:
Mar 25, 2011 04:07 AM
Doug, you may not have a specific agenda for your clients, but from all I see here, you have an agenda for our planet! Hats of to you, and thank you for calling us again toward the possibility for our profession and, most importantly, toward the impact we can and must have for our world.

Laura
Karl Grass says:
Mar 25, 2011 07:05 PM
...and the good news is some clients will be drawn to the explicit point of view you are sharing! Which makes it likely you'll face fewer tough calls on who is willing and able to grow beyond themselves in the work they do with you.

Best always,

Karl
Matt Hawley says:
Mar 24, 2011 06:03 PM
Well, of course it's not completely free of agenda. Humans need a reason to do what they do, and coaches are no different.

On first reading though, I hear some 'prescription' in this post, that coaches are to use their unique position to advocate for certain ends, through our coaching. I find that a tad troubling.

Isn't coaching about the clients agenda? What they want? If, as they uncover and actualize their greatness, they see the challenges of the world and act in positive ways, great. But is our role to engender, encourage, or request this, in any form?
Eric says:
Mar 24, 2011 07:03 PM
My question is this: From where does this fidelity to a client's agenda come? Imagine a client's agenda is to make money or wield power by knowingly, harming others or the planet? It seems clear that most coaches wishing to call themselves "ethical" would not agree to this. The point is, who makes that call? The coach? The client? If we leave it up to each individual's (mine or a client's) judgment call, we're riding in a sinking ship. That kind of relativist thinking ("my truth" is as valid as any truth) has very little to recommend it. What about coaching that is rigorous in its pursuit of clarity about what is true? Not what we "think" is true; not what can be argued about. But what is actually true.
 
Eric says:
Mar 24, 2011 07:04 PM
My question is this: From where does this fidelity to a client's agenda come? Imagine a client's agenda is to make money or wield power by knowingly, harming others or the planet? It seems clear that most coaches wishing to call themselves "ethical" would not agree to this. The point is, who makes that call? The coach? The client? If we leave it up to each individual's (mine or a client's) judgment call, we're riding in a sinking ship. That kind of relativist thinking ("my truth" is as valid as any truth) has very little to recommend it. What about coaching that is rigorous in its pursuit of clarity about what is true? Not what we "think" is true; not what can be argued about. But what is actually true.
 
Renee Gregorio says:
Mar 24, 2011 06:36 PM
I want to agree, and find I must also disagree. It is imperative that we do, and are supported in doing, our individual work first--what do our dreams tell us, what does the art being created in the world now speak to, what is required in our daily lives to live fully and well, who am I, who are you, what makes our hearts sing? All this. Maybe it's the sort of coaching work I do that makes me want to say that there's this invaluable range--coaching so that another can feel her depth and heart and singing, can move through personal trauma and truly be in the present moment, can write a book and name his voice and language...all of this can, too, lead us into what's "more", how we can then step forward into society with our whole selves shining and do the work you speak of here. We need all of it. We need to take each other along. And, yes, we need to all find our "bold and unique roles." Thanks for this conversation, Doug--you inspire me!
Heather Johnson says:
Mar 24, 2011 11:46 PM
You have provoked some thinking - much of which is still 'unformed', but whatever we do, or choose not to do has an impact on others. Some of these impacts are beneficial, some are not, many are both helpful to some and harmful to others at the same time. A well known UK coach developer takes a strong moral purpose stance in his work and asks 'why didn't the coaches of the top people in the banks ask questions that would have challenged the greed of bonuses in 2007?' He maintains it is the role of the coach to do this and that they are culpable if they did not ask it.
It seems to me that our role in coaching is always to ask the question 'What could be the consequences of you achieving that?' and to keep asking that same question to encompass as wide a range of consequences as possible. On your initial point I agree that a constant drive for growth is a road to disaster for our planet.
Doug says:
Mar 25, 2011 03:56 AM
Love the example of the coaches of the top people in banks as a challenge to us! (BTW, who is the UK coach you mentioned?)

I agree that we are culpable. Our grandchildren could someday be asking us similar questions.. "hey, you had influence with key decision-makers back in 2011, when everyone knew the world was melting down. What did you do? What stand did you take? Did you simply support the agendas of your clients without asking tough questions? What logic justified neutrality when the greed of the people you were supporting was destructive?"
Laura says:
Mar 25, 2011 05:41 AM
Great conversation. As a Coach with a background in psychology, social work and systems thinking, I do ask my clients questions like "what would be the consequences of you doing that?" I am grateful to work with people who are able to see that in the short term, they are responsible participants in many different systems. I coach them find ways to move towards their own goals while considering others needs. For example, understanding family responsibilities, a person could find ways to continue working at a job that might not be ideal, while also taking steps to plan a more desirable future career or business.
Eleanor Rouse says:
Mar 25, 2011 04:14 AM
What a relief to read. Thanks, Doug.
Michelle Smith says:
Mar 25, 2011 05:59 AM
I so appreciate that this conversation filtered down to this idea that those who have influence on key decision-makers are themselves meeting a powerful moment for courage. How much is striving for MORE really just the same attempt to fill the same abyss of fear and need that can never be filled but only transcended? What's the good of enabling anyone to keep that hole open? I can imagine the great sigh of relief that this key decision-maker might feel when his or her coach gave permission to consider a different possibility -- to take the stand that My Good includes Your Good and Their Good. This is the sigh of relief that comes when someone speaks what you've been afraid to speak for fear that if you spoke it your needs would not be met and then that someone says, "I'll help you. We'll do it together." And the coach has to face that hole first.
Gavin Gowans says:
Mar 25, 2011 06:08 AM
Dear Doug,

I know what you mean. Because of this I am looking at using the coaching skills I have to help others focus on what we receive,give back and how we can look beyond the egoic self to fulfill or lives and those of others.

This means that I would be participating in coaching not so much with the traditional external 'success/materialism'focus. but rather more self reflectively in a way that places priority on the inner life, and whilst honouring the external, would put that as secondary to the inner.

In other words coaching to understand ourself, our relationships and the nature of our existence and how we wish to express that in the world.

I realise that this is prescriptive and that could create conflict between my agenda and that of the clients.

So working that out probably means working with others who are attracted to that kind of inner work themselves. Otherwise I would be foisting my position onto their lives. Which quite rightly would mean I was engendering my own agenda first,before the clients.

I agree with Eric who said what is important is the clarity of truth, exploring what is true, and living ones truth in the context of relationships.
Mary Chase says:
Mar 25, 2011 06:26 AM
Thanks so much for your stand, Doug. I know that in part it came out of your being at the Awakening the Dreamer, Changing the Dream Symposium at the Co-Active Summit and hearing Lynne Twist talk about FourYears.Go. I invite your wonderful readers to get some background on the urgency and opportunity of our times by going to awakeningthedreamer.org and fouryearsgo.org
Also, a book that in scaring and inspiring me is World on the Edge: How to Prevent Economic and Environmental Collapse by Lester Brown.
Hope this discussion continues... I'll be talking with you...
Janie says:
Mar 25, 2011 06:58 AM
I have been considering for several years now what I should do when I retire from the public job I have and simply said suppliment my retirement income. Coaching started out to be that avenue. However, in reading your articles I totally agree that we should recognize when we have sufficiently earned enough, contributed to the big picture enough, and now it is time to determine our life path from this point forward. I dream of peace, relaxing on my farm with my animals, and enjoying the fruits of my labor. My family has grown up without me to some degree while I worked; now I have the opportunity to be fully available. There will now be time to search my mind and soul for the legacy I wish to leave; not the stuff I leave behind. Time to just sit and look around my surroundings and world in gratitude; time to have that casual talk with friends and family; and time to ponder on the spiritual meaning of what humanity should embrace and understand. Thanks for the thought provoking articles.
Joel says:
Mar 26, 2011 06:21 AM
Great piece Doug!

It is a question we cannot ignore given the state of the world we find ourselves in. I believe coaching can make a significant contribution to making positive global shifts.
Julie Paleen Aronow says:
Mar 26, 2011 07:56 AM
Repurposing coaching and focusing all of our efforts on the overarching purpose of “bringing forth an environmentally sustainable, spiritually fulfilling, and socially just way of being on this earth” is admirable. I hear you advocate for repurposing the entire coaching industry to this end. That is an agenda and while admirable, I think too exclusive. I agree with Renee, there are some who sing and must find their voices. They in turn, with their voices, inspire others to fulfill greatness - perhaps some who will save us from a nuclear disaster. I don't agree that we need to be singularly focused on one agenda.
Doug says:
Mar 26, 2011 08:48 AM
Yes, there are those who sing and must find their voices. I couldn't agree more. It is for each of us to find our gift and our contribution.

AND, that discernment is most widely done in the full awareness of the global context. The broader and more inclusive our view, the more informed and relevant our actions.

I am not advocating that we exhort our clients to quit their jobs and go out and plant trees. I am saying that, developmentally speaking, the more we awaken ourselves and our clients, through our self-work and our conversations, the more we all will choose life-affirming actions that support the whole.

For some, this will be improving fire suppression procedures in nuclear power plants. For others, it will be designing solar-powered lighting. For others, singing in the park. All of these contributions are needed.

SO, my advocacy is really for this awakening, for informed choice, and for urgency.

Great conversation!
Henry Kimsey-House says:
Mar 26, 2011 11:54 AM
What a stimulating conversation. I am both thrilled and excited by it and a little scared by it at the same time.

I notice a part of me wants to step in and defend "the clients agenda". That part of me wants to be clear about what I mean when I say "client". I mean the whole person sitting opposite me, that soul, that spirit, that being opposite me that has a life affirming purpose and a set of powerful values that help to determine their "true" identity. I don't mean their ego or their small self that wants more stuff, I mean their large Self that wants more consciousness of themselves and their world. This is the "client" that I am calling forth onto their journey and working with to create and follow a powerful "agenda". To me this is what I hold, as a coach, when I am "holding my clients agenda".

The scary thing I sense in this conversation is that as a coach I somehow determine what that agenda is and that I form that agenda for them based on what I, as the coach see, is necessary based on what is occurring in this clients world. That somehow I know better what this client's agenda "should" be, based on what I am perceiving is working or not working globally or in regards to many other systems that this client is swimming in. This seems to be pointing me towards being an adviser or consultant more then what I have understood is a coach. As an adviser I would be brought in to give wise advice on what this person should do based on my world view and it might have nothing to do with what is happening within his or her worlds. This to me is not coaching.

As a coach it is extremely important, and I feel very urgent, to do my own "work" to become more conscious of the unfolding dream of life and to act in ways that are consistent with that unfolding dream and life affirming. As I live into that dream and I notice that the people around me, including my clients, are living lives inconsistent with that dream it is my responsibility to stay conscious and continue working with the whole person sitting opposite me and to inquire into, look and see, listen deeply to whether or not the small self or the large Self is running the show and then to make sure the large Self is in charge and then to evoke transformation, to be the space for that incredible human being to step into the next place in their evolutionary journey. That step may NOT be the one my adviser self would want them to take or the one that I think the world needs them to take, and it may be the one that is in front of them that they simply must take next. Then my job is to stay and evoke the next transformation and the next evolutionary step.

In my mind this is the "job" of the coach.

Thanks for the conversation Doug and look forward to playing with you more.
Julie Paleen Aronow says:
Mar 26, 2011 12:33 PM
But, now I am puzzled by your original message. An awakening to more informed choice around life - affirming actions that support the whole (in the manner in which the client defines that) is what I thought coaching was all about from the beginning. I'm confused.
Deborah Huisken says:
Mar 27, 2011 02:15 AM
I appreciate having been pointed to this thread. Here's the thought I have as I read it. Are we holding the term "agenda" big enough? Thereby helping our clients see outside their current focus? For instance, starting at Level 1, how does my health impact my clients - can I show up fully, challenge them to see more widely and clearly if I'm not fully awake and present? Then Level 2 - how does their health impact the people around them? Are they making decisions that contribute fully to the health of people around them if they are not fully awake and present? Level 3 (or is it 4?!) - what's in the world around both myself and my client that's needing to be named and given voice?

Whenever I get lost or scared when I'm coaching, I stop and ask myself "what does this client want". The intuitive hit I get is usually the most accurate - they may think they want more money, but in fact money probably represents control, which brings safety. If I can help them explore that deeply enough, I suspect our agendas become the same - we all want to live lives that are healthy, loving, and rich - and we need a healthy community and planet to do so.

Bottom line for me - finding a definition for and understanding of the term agenda that encompasses all of us, and all of this...
Laurens says:
Mar 28, 2011 09:28 AM
Hello Doug and all!

Thanks so much for igniting this important discussion and calling the field of coaching and its practitioners forth to really explore its value and purpose in the world.

Let me dance with some of the themes and threads raised here and hopefully contribute a bit of my own.

Stepping into the unknown......
There’s a huge need for global transformation on many levels. Personally and professionally, ecologically and economically, politically and spiritually.
 
On all these fronts the world is challenging us to step into the unknown and discover new ways of being and doing that not only allow us to cope with the current crises, but use them as catalysts for profound growth and global transformation.
 
Coaches and change facilitators are often uniquely equipped to facilitate these kinds of shifts, because we have been trained to help others courageously and compassionately explore the limits and beauty of their current way of being. And from that space try on new ways of being that are more appropriate for where they find themselves in life and what the world asks of them.

Over the past decades powerful methodologies have been developed that effectively and skillfully facilitate this kind of transformative change and developmental shifts.

There are two further threads I would like to offer here: one more developmental, and another one, which I feel speaks more directly to the very core of our humanity and living a fulfilling and meaningful life.

Center of Gravity.....
We now know not only from our own direct experience but also from a strong body of research that the way we show up and make sense of the world evolves through specific stages (Wilber, Kegan, Cook-Greuter, Torbert, O'Fallon). Each new stage offering an expansion and deepening of our capacity to take on more and more perspectives and to experience ever more fully the interconnectedness of our being and world.

More specifically, as adults we all have the potential to gradually evolve from egocentric (what is good for me) to sociocentric (what is good for me and mine) to worldcentric (what is good for all of us) and what has been called kosmocentric (what is the Divine will that is expressing itself through all of us). Each level honoring but expanding the needs of the previous level. We may have flashes of higher states throughout our lifespan, but the question is where our center of gravity resides.

This suggests that coaching and change facilitation approaches that successfully tap into and work with this developmental or evolutionary impulse, might be particularly suited to facilitate the shift of consciousness and capacity for global leadership that you speak into.

Our deepest humanity......
At the same time, no matter what level of development we are on and where we find ourselves on life’s journey, when pushed and probed by someone who sees our potential and is willing to explore our deepest humanity with us, few of us will not light up and be inspired to action by the idea of using our unique gifts in service of the world. A world that includes me and my needs.

Now what that gift and service will actually look like depends completely on the rich and unique tapestry of who we are and where we find ourselves.
 
For some it will involve first clarifying their unique gifts and needs. For others it will be taking on big commitments in the world. However, it is my experience and belief that all of us benefit from being asked some version of the following question and being held compassionately accountable for it:

What are your unique gifts and how will you use them in service of your highest self and the world?

Some may initially shy away. Some will step up immediately. Others will simply need to be with the question longer before they can fully relate to its depth, and use it to find direction. So that’s where we meet them.

But as change facilitators I do believe we have the responsibility to ask the big questions.

Whether we decide to engage them or not, the bigger agendas of transformative change, our higher Self and what the world asks from us, are always there. Waiting…

With much love and respect,
Laurens van Aarle

Coaches Rising
Doug says:
Mar 28, 2011 10:16 AM
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Laurens.

I agree completely with the relevance of a stage model of human development to the challenging times we find ourselves in. I think it also speaks to some of the issues raised earlier in this thread about "supporting the client's agenda" vs. "pushing the coach's agenda."

It is for us to honor where our clients are, and to support them in reaching their goals (as long as their goals are not anathema to us!) AND, simultaneously, we are asking questions, as Laurens suggests, that open up a larger and deeper perspective. This contributes directly, though slowly, to accelerating the process of human development through these stages, which in some ways, is a perspective-shifting process.

Ultimately, coaching is more about human development than reaching specific goals. And, the more we develop ourselves and our clients, the more our circle of concern expands... from this place, the commitment stated above to "bringing forth an environmentally sustainable, spiritually fulfilling, and socially just way of being on this earth" is the only thing we can do.

BTW, if you don't know Laurens, he is the co-producer of an outstanding (and free) series of interviews with some of the leaders in the field. Check them out at http://coachesrising.com. (Full disclosure... I'm one of the interviewees.)
Kerry Cullen says:
Mar 29, 2011 04:08 AM
I love this discussion and I love the conversations of alignment to the earth and it has really made me think and reflect, so thank you to Doug for starting it and to all of you who have contributed.

D.H. Lawrence wrote: ‘Men are not free when they are doing just what they like. Men are only free when they are doing what the deepest self likes”. And there is getting down to the deepest self! It takes some diving’.

Tara Brach comments in her wonderful book Radical Acceptance “to listen and respond to the longings of the heart requires a committed and genuine presence. The more completely we’re caught in the surface world of pursuing substitutes, the harder it is to dive.

I wonder, in our role as coaches how do we help people dive? To challenge a client’s agenda, when we think it is caught in the ‘surface world’ takes an act of judgement and I wonder -who are we to judge? How are we to know, even with the best of intentions?

John O’Donohue beautifully says "No one else has access to the world you carry around within yourself; you are its custodian and entrance. No one else can see the world the way you see it. No one else can feel your life the way you feel it. (John O'Donohue: Anam Cara A Book of Celtic Wisdom).

I believe we can help clients 'dive' by holding the space for them, working to create the conditions for them to connect to their true self themselves. I believe that we all hold this ability and only we can know the shape, colour and form of our deeper self and I also believe there is a divine timing to our inward journey. I want to lean into what Carl Roger’s calls ‘the curious paradox’. The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change” (Carl Rogers).

As a coach I want to help 'diving' by being the “encouragement of light” to my clients.

How did the rose
ever open its heart
and give to this world all of its beauty?
It felt the encouragement of light against its being,
otherwise we all remain too
frightened
Hafiz
 
With love and thanks for a wonderfully thought provoking discussion

Kerry from Ireland
DJ Mitsch, MCC says:
Mar 29, 2011 04:18 PM
Perhaps it is not coaching that we are repurposing, rather resetting what it means to lead. I love the colorful people I am honored to coach and whose stories intersect and influence mine. Sometimes those stories are about really noble things like the impact of business practices on the sustainability of the planet. Sometimes their stories are about a renewed self awareness that drives them and sometimes it's simply about giving self permission to buy a new pair of shoes. If these conversations open a pathway for someone I serve, I am giddy with delight at the impact of a simple coaching conversation. I love that you took time to write this provocative article. Inspiring, you are!
Julie Paleen Aronow says:
Mar 30, 2011 08:01 AM
A deeper more divine purpose is why we are on the planet - this is my personal and spiritual belief. However, it is not the belief held by all clients. While I agree with many the eloquent comments above related to coaching facilitating a consciousness that illuminates service to one's highest self and the world, I am still hovering over the question if that goal should be the singular repurposing of the industry.
Kim Tofin says:
Mar 30, 2011 10:11 AM
This is truly a captivating discussion. Thank you Doug for articulating multi-dimensional change. I am challenged to consider if tackling “fear” is where this repurposing endeavour will or should take us. Deborah H. asks what in our world and our client’s world needs to be named and given voice. Our society runs on fear and that is perhaps where the seat of the problem exists and needs to be called out in some acceptable manner.
Are we, as change leaders, ready and equipped to tell our clients that “controlling” the situation is simply a coping mechanism to managing the craziness, stress, paranoia, etc. elements of their deep seated fears? As has been pointed out several times in this discussion, the shift, or at least re-connection to our Large (or inner) self is vital. To realign to this subject, does that shift really fix the problems of our planet or does it point to the real source of our problems – which is on the level of consciousness? If we are looking for a cure and not a repair, then going head-on into our fears and those of our client’s most certainly must be on the critical path.
Doug says:
Apr 02, 2011 04:11 AM
wonderful to see the rich conversation here... and interesting to me that people are reading into this a message that we somehow should be telling clients what to do (although most of us recognize the subtle, or not so subtle, seduction of thinking we know what's right for our clients.)

That's not actually what I'm advocating for here. To Henry's comment above, it's not "coaching" if we somehow advocate for what the client should do based on an understanding of the world that is not relevant to the client's understanding.. we've somehow moved into the realm of advising or consulting, and have also disconnected somehow from the person we're serving.

that said, coaching only happens precisely because we literally exist in a different world than that of our clients. If we were perfect clones, with the same genes, personal history, and structures of interpretation and habit as our client, we would not be in the slightest helpful to them. It is our different history, our skills and capacities, and our different structures of interpretation that allow us to be of service. Our standing in a different world allows us to ask provocative questions, invite new perspectives, open new space within which our client can imagine a different future.

DJ talks about delighting in a client giving herself permission to buy a new pair of shoes. Yes, and... what's germane here is not the new pair of shoes, but the giving herself permission, the increased space and freedom from her own habits that the client has discovered through the act of buying the shoes.

It is this inquiry into what is being served that I'm advocating for, not that we use our intimacy and trust with our clients to nudge them towards something that doesn't make sense to them.

Coaching should never undermine the client's authority, and her responsibility for discerning her own path and appropriate actions. At the same time, for us as agents of change to not maintain our own awareness of the context (the "burning house" in the original post,) is to indulge in a comfortable myopia, and to weaken what we bring to the conversation.

The rigor of our profession is to be an invitation towards development, to supporting the unfolding possibility of each person we come in contact with. Grounding ourselves firmly in the broadest possible context strengthens this immensely.

I see our work as fundamentally about accelerating development. As Laurens pointed out, development leads inexorably towards an ever greater circle of care, and towards universal concern. The more we (and our clients) develop, the more aligned to our deepest cares, and to the state of the world, will be our commitments and resulting actions.

Buying new shoes might truly be an important step in someone's developmental journey. And, it's not really about the shoes.
Lisa Marshall says:
Apr 11, 2011 06:27 PM
Wow, Doug, what a great set of conversations you've generated. My take is this: my role as coach is to help each client be their biggest, best self. And to love them, whether or not they are. What form that takes I only know thru our conversations. I make this agenda known from the outset; those who want something else are free to go elsewhere. Is that me having an agenda for them? Absolutely! And I don't want to work with anyone who wants a smaller agenda.

And thank you for raising the game to the next level. To pretend that the planet isn't in danger, and that we don't have responsibility is indeed a failure of coaching as leadership. We ARE the ones we are waiting for.
Urs Winzenried says:
Apr 13, 2011 01:53 AM
Wow, what extraordinary times we are experiencing and participating in. Reading this, pardon me, random blog on the vast WWW on a ordinary Wednesday morning on my laptop. And hearing all these brilliant, authentic and engaged voices expressing different facets of the one emerging universal truth. Me, for now am choosing some awe and grateful speechlessness
Jan Newcomb says:
May 03, 2011 11:26 AM
Hmmmm....I agree that coaching must be about the client's agenda. It's worth carefully exploring whether they are making the right choice for themselves; however, if their agenda isn't something I am comfortable with personally or have difficulty getting behind for them, I just say so and tactfully terminate the relationship. If I can refer them to someone more suitable for them, I do.
Elizabeth Skronski says:
May 25, 2011 12:33 PM
Hi Doug,

I came across your article through The Peers Bulletin. The title of your article immediately attracted me. As I started reading I felt a resonance with your words. Ever since I embraced coaching as my second career, I've had difficulty expressing what I do strictly in terms of helping clients achieve success, partly because I come from the corporate world, having left after achieving the success I thought I wanted .. Ironic, right! I'm listening to the last Oprah Winfrey show as I''m writing this response to your blog and she just shared a quote she received from Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, who had the stroke and wrote a book about it. The quote speaks of the responsibility we all have about the energy we leave on the planet... Coaching is more than just about the clients... it is about assisting our clients be successful in achieving greater well being for themselves and others.
Doug says:
May 26, 2011 11:40 AM
Hi Elizabeth... yes, so often what we aspire to as success is simply what we've been conditioned into, and a poor substitute for real happiness and fulfillment. Love Jill Bolte Taylor... she certainly has a unique perspective!

As we develop, we find ourselves with an ever-larger circle of care, which eventually includes the whole earth, and what our contribution is. We are bringing forward a really interesting exploration of this... see http://dougsilsbee.com/esl which explores how we directly experience this larger whole living in us, and what actions we are called to take from this perspective. I am very excited to be working on this!

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